Discernment Counseling in Colorado Springs
Supporting couples standing at a crossroads in their marriage, unsure whether to rebuild the relationship or move toward separation.
WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP FEELS STUCK
Feeling Stuck and Unsure About Your Marriage?
If you or your partner are thinking about divorce but aren't completely sure that's the right decision, you're not alone. Many couples reach a point where they feel torn between trying again or letting go.
In the counseling field, we call this a mixed-agenda couple. One partner is leaning toward leaving the marriage, and the other is leaning toward staying and working on it. You're not on the same page, and that makes everything harder.
Signs you might be a mixed-agenda couple:
- One of you has emotionally checked out while the other is holding on
- Conversations about the future go in circles or get shut down
- Traditional couples therapy hasn't worked because you're not equally invested
- You're going through the motions but feel miles apart
- The word "divorce" has come up, but no one's made a final decision
You don't have to keep spinning. Discernment counseling creates space for both of you to get honest about what's next.
A PROCESS DESIGNED FOR UNCERTAIN COUPLES
What Is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment counseling is a short-term, focused process designed specifically for mixed-agenda couples. It supports partners where one person feels uncertain about continuing the relationship, known as the leaning-out partner, while the other still hopes to rebuild it, known as the leaning-in partner.
This dynamic is common, but it makes traditional couples counseling difficult. The leaning-in partner is usually motivated to work on the relationship, while the leaning-out partner may feel emotionally disconnected, discouraged, or unsure whether counseling can even help.
Discernment counseling creates a space that honors both perspectives without pressuring either person.
For the leaning-out partner: This process provides understanding and respect for your ambivalence. You'll have space to explore what brought you to this point, what you've contributed to the current dynamic, and whether there's any desire or willingness to try repairing the relationship.
For the leaning-in partner: This is a chance to slow down and learn how to approach your spouse with openness rather than persuasion. You'll explore your own contributions to the relationship dynamics and how you can respond in ways that support clarity rather than conflict.
With guidance, you'll explore three possible paths:
- Keeping things as they are for now
- Moving forward with divorce
- Making a commitment to couples counseling with a shared desire to work on rebuilding the marriage
Want to learn more? Watch Dr. Bill Doherty, the founder of Discernment Counseling, explain how this process helps couples find clarity.
A STEADY GUIDE THROUGH A HARD DECISION
Why Choose Frontline Counseling for Discernment Counseling?
With nearly a decade of experience, I specialize in supporting couples navigating uncertainty, disconnection, and major relationship decisions. I don't offer generic talk therapy. I provide focused, evidence-based support that honors where each of you actually stands.
At Frontline Counseling, I meet you where you are. No pressure. No sides. No blame. Just a space where you're both safe to tell the truth and figure out what comes next. As a discernment counselor in Colorado Springs, I bring lived experience, clinical expertise, and deep compassion to every session.
You'll both be treated with respect, no matter how you're feeling about your marriage.
- Nearly 10 years as a licensed clinical social worker
- Level 1 training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy
- Trained in EMDR, Prolonged Exposure, and CPT
- Military spouse with firsthand understanding of relationship strain
- Known for helping couples feel heard, respected, and clear
the Frontline Benefits
Clearer Understanding
You may begin to see your relationship patterns more clearly, including how each of you has been affected and how you arrived here.
Greater Emotional Safety
You may feel more able to speak honestly without conversations turning into blame or shutdown.
Restored Respect
Even when couples do not choose the same outcome, many find they can listen and speak with more care and less defensiveness.
A Sense of Direction
You may leave feeling less stuck, with a clearer sense of what you want and what feels right for you.
MOVING FROM CONFUSION TO DIRECTION
Picture Your Life Without the Weight of Indecision
Imagine no longer feeling trapped between staying and leaving. Whether you choose to work on the relationship or move toward separation, you feel grounded in that choice. The spinning stops.
You may find yourself communicating more openly, even when the conversations are hard. You stop avoiding and start addressing what's real. The weight of uncertainty begins to lift.
For some couples, this process reignites a willingness to try. For others, it brings peace in knowing they made a thoughtful, informed decision. Either way, you're no longer stuck.
Discernment counseling doesn't guarantee a particular outcome. But it can help you stop living in limbo and start moving forward with intention.
Book Your FREE CONSULTATION Now
If your relationship feels distant or uncertain, you do not have to sort through it alone. In a free 15-minute consultation, we will talk about what has been happening and whether discernment counseling is the right fit for where you are right now.
my process
A Clear Path to Clarity About Your Marriage
I meet each couple where they are, offering steady, supportive guidance tailored to your unique situation. Whether you've been struggling for months or years, we move at your pace, creating a safe space where honesty feels possible.
Step 1
Reaching Out & Scheduling a Consultation:
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to share what has been going on, ask questions, and see whether discernment counseling fits your situation. If it does, we will schedule your first session together.
Step 2
Beginning the Discernment Process:
Your first session is 90 minutes to two hours and includes time together and time individually. We explore what brought you here, how each of you is experiencing the relationship, and what you hope for moving forward.
Step 3
Moving Toward a Clear Direction:
Over one to five sessions, you gain a deeper understanding of your relationship and your role in it. From there, you decide whether to commit to couples therapy, move toward separation, or take more time to reflect.
Closeness shouldn’t feel out of reach
Waiting Doesn't Make This Decision Easier
Living in uncertainty takes a toll. On your sleep, your focus, your sense of self. It can start to affect your work, your parenting, your health. You might still be functioning, but you're exhausted from carrying the weight of indecision.
Discernment counseling can shift that. With the right support, you can stop spinning and start moving forward with confidence. You get to make a decision you can stand behind, whatever that decision is.
DISCERNMENT COUNSELING RATES
Initial Session:
$365/ 2 - Hour Session
Follow-Up Session:
$360/ 2 - Hour Session
Follow-Up Session:
$275/ 1.5 - Hour Session
Discernment Counseling is a short-term process (1-5 sessions) designed for couples where one or both partners are uncertain about the future of the marriage. Together, we'll work to gain clarity and confidence about the direction of your relationship, whether that means reconciliation, separation, or a clearer understanding of what each path requires.
Frequently Asked Questions
About Discernment Counseling
Is discernment counseling the same as couples therapy?
No. Couples therapy assumes both partners want to improve the relationship. Discernment counseling is for mixed-agenda couples where one person is leaning out and the other is leaning in. It's a decision-making process, not a treatment process.
What if my partner doesn't want to come?
Discernment counseling works best when both partners participate. The screening call gives me a chance to speak with each of you individually, which can help a hesitant partner understand that this process isn't about blame or pressure.
How long does discernment counseling take?
This is a short-term process with a maximum of 5 sessions. The first session is 2 hours, and subsequent sessions are 1.5 to 2 hours. The goal is clarity, not long-term therapy.
Can we switch to couples therapy afterward?
Yes. If you both decide you want to commit to working on the marriage, we can transition into couples therapy or I can refer you to a specialist who fits your needs.
If you can't find the answer you're looking for, reach out to me directly.
Connection is still possible. Let’s start rebuilding it today.
If you're located in Colorado Springs, support is just a call away. I also work with clients from surrounding areas like Monument, Denver, and Fountain. Let’s talk about where things stand, and where you’d like them to be.
